If death looked like this it might have slightly different connotations! This post again initially has a slightly doom-tastic edge owing to this month’s events, hence I’ve posted some eye candy to lift our moods!

Well what an end to the last year – some people lost so much in the floods – particularly in this part of Yorkshire. I can’t imagine the devastation that must have caused.

The early arrival of Bewick swans in the UK helped to predict a harsh winter – I believe there is a saying “the swan brings snow on its beak” a nice folkloric saying! However up until now Winter has not felt our necks with icy fingers, or Jack Frost visited our lawns and windows in this part of the world. Just wet and mild; No need for my winter coat.

 I must admit I didn’t like it. I was filled with a gentle unease, just lying beneath the surface. A knowledge that human activity and global warming is responsible for the unseasonal warmth – is it too late to turn this?

Will we have to live with the fruits of our careless lives? Among many Polar Bears, Rhinos, amphibians,Elephants and Tigers gone (Will they still be with us when my niece and nephew are my age? Likely not without intervention), no ice caps, higher seas and less room on land to live in, regular flooding here, regular and more frequent bush fires at the other side of the world. Empty barren seas in the north that were once the richest in the world. The complete annihilation of the Great Barrier Reef – with warming seas and increasing acidity this rainforest of the sea – a global treasure – will be gone completely in a few years. It may sit off Australia but we are all guilty of its demise. I can’t describe to you what a tragedy this will be and how sad it makes me feel. I can still conjure vivid memories of scuba diving and snorkelling around this natural wonder, remember the turtles, the white tip sharks, the trigger fish, rays, the sound of parrot fish munching away.

The most brilliant kaleidoscope of colours with some of the clearest light in the world. And all this will soon be gone – bleached coral bones, bare, still, no life.

What will be left to see but the blue light from screens, blinking at us, dictating our every waking moment, and keeping us from sleep. I’d rather see this blue in the light of the sun.

 

I can only still hope we can try to at least halt our effect – but on reflection the side effects of human life and activity appear to work like an insidious cancer on the rest of planet earth.

I also wondered what was Winter planning? A surprise turn into minus temperatures, cutting at the necks of life forms that has been fooled into awakening? Hard frosts killing off the worms that have so far not needed to retreat deeper down to escape the freezing earth, and in doing so depriving other creatures of food later in the year. Would butterflies and bees be taken by surprise and felled by the cold, leaving a genetic deficit for the year ahead? Have buds started to swell only to be blackened by the Snow Queen’s kiss?

I loved the Snow Queen by the way – despite its slightly malevolent undertones the book I had contained beautiful illustrations which transported me to an enchanted snowy northern land. Still like looking at those pictures to this day.

 

There was a little poem in it that went like this:

“In the vale where the rose grows wild,

Children play all day,

One of them is the Christ child”

I recently leafed through a newer version in Salts Mill – I could spend hours in their bookshop. Illustrations were also beautiful but the poem different.

January did bring her ice cold bite and also, it seems, had a scythe in her hand. Not long into the new year and at work it became apparent that many people I work with were standing in the shadow of death, to begin with or once again. Some had been taken before the year had turned. My line of work does have an inevitable grim element to it however we have lost a lot recently. On top of that those in the lime light were also next in line – Lemmy, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Colin Vearncombe, now Terry Wogan. I absolutely adored Mr Rickman – just loved his gentle, wise persona and voice. I thought how funny it was that his death had touched me so when I wasn’t even in his realm of consciousness – strange how we humans project feelings etc.

Of course I remember that January also brought her final kiss to my Nana two years ago yesterday. She would have been 92 now. Although I didn’t see a lot of her in her final years (maybe once or twice a year) I still find it strange to think she isn’t there anymore, sitting in her chair. Of course my memory always flicks back to the time when she was healthier and more mobile and I’m glad it is that way. The final couple of years weren’t that kind really – but then I wonder if they are for many.

Anyway with all the above it almost feels like the Grim Reaper is saying not many layers of protection now between you and me! Ha ha. When I was 20 death felt so far off and that all these dead people above would go on forever. No need for a sense of urgency – but now… Must practice my own mantra of living for now, not the past or future as this is the only time that is real.

I always seem to be talking about death, maybe it’s a process of mind and body trying to reconcile with its uncomfortable inevitability, maybe I’m trying to move from uncomfortable to comfortable – the same mind set I saw in a person I work with just 2 weeks ago – facing death he was calm. After all one day I may welcome it.

Promise the mood should change as Spring edges nearer!

Anyway despite colder weather, snow, sleet, hail and murderous storms, Winter hasn’t all been doom-laden.

I had a marvellous meal for a dear friend’s birthday before Christmas. A wonderful treat that I was lucky enough to enjoy with them! We plan to save up and return! This month I made a bracelet full of gilt shimmering light that she’d given to me:

I also had a snowy end to a lovely day out with Holly. We toured some spectacular countryside in Yorkshire.

 

On my way home in the evening I had to walk a little way in the snow – it was cold but I didn’t feel it so keenly as was wrapped up. It was also very peaceful – it always seems calmer when it snows! It was really nice to feel the crisp snow beneath my feet crunching. It reminded me of the sound of walking on a coral beach on an island near Cairns in Australia. Polar opposite situations!

I’ve shared another meal at the Saltaire Canteen junk food cafe with more precious friends. The Real Junk Food Project takes food which is near its sell by date and would be thrown away, and uses it to feed people. Its aim it to make people aware of the scandalous waste of perfectly good food in a consumerist first world, at a time when so many people in the world are starving – the food was spectacular! I had sweet chilli yam and potato soup, Then breaded crispy poached egg on bubble and squeak cake with asparagus and asparagus sauce (imagine how many air miles, how much water used, and pollution created to produce that abroad at this time of year and it was going to be thrown away!!!), and redcurrant cheesecake.

The food was delicious, as good as you’d get in any higher end restaurant – not sure who the chef is but he or she is amazing!

The cafe is pay as you feel – basically you pay what you think the food is worth. They give you a little envelope to put your money in so no one knows how much you gave. It gives a way for people with nothing, or not much, to still be able to get something to eat. Kindnesses such as these I feel is the way forward for society and hope the idea grows even further than it has.

I have spent some time with my sister and her little treasures. Although it can be tiring I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Both bring me so much happiness I don’t mind tiredness – and unlike my sister I can go home for a good night’s sleep!!! I think she is an amazing mum and the kids are lucky to have her and their fabulous dad, who is also amazing at ‘dadding’, as parents! I took older treasure to a birthday party for another precious friend’s little treasure! It was very successful I feel. I can tell my niece is already very clever, like her brother. She listens to you talking and is already pushing up on her legs and trying to sit up!!  I delighted in hearing my little nephew sing too – such a bright little voice!

On a sweeter note than I started I’ve found a secret Bakery in the area where I live. It is my current new obsession. I had heard about it but until yesterday hadn’t tried to find it! I approached Edward Street near the big Mill, unable to see any signs I thought I’d got it wrong – all I could see were people’s front doors. I wondered whether to walk down, and that’s what I did as I soon noticed one of the front doors was slightly ajar! The window was steamed up. A tiny badge on the door told me that I’d got to the right place! It seemed all a bit clandestine as I nervously pushed open the door and as I stepped inside my frost chilled glasses steamed up, so I had to take them off. That meant my myopic vision could see various cakes and a set of shelves containing some of the freshest bread I’d ever smelt! The baker was still at work preparing fresh sickle shaped croissants and bacon turnovers. He said he would be with me in a second, just as soon as he’d got these in the oven. I returned my glasses to their normal place and had a closer look – there were about 5 types of bread – all looked delicious, but I opted for a Rye and Raisin loaf. This was so tasty!!! I think it also contains caraway or fennel seeds. I ate some of it before I even got it home as you can see! Other slices have been consumed with lashings of butter, jam and marmalade. I also bought two cakes! A rhubarb and custard tart with pomegranate seed sprinkle (have been eating loads of these recently) – I ate this yesterday. Absolutely gorgeous, perhaps slightly too sweet for me, but a real hit of the classic flavour combination and lovely pastry! The second cake was a ‘Peruvian Slice’ – someone asked what was Peruvian about it, I couldn’t answer that all I know is it is one of the loveliest cakes I’ve had for a while!!! Mille feuille style pastry layers, sandwiched with Dulche de Leche, and hazelnut and chocolate cream! I really loved this bakery – hope it never loses its quirky and furtive charm!

Just glad I’d been to the gym this week to compensate for the million calories in the cakes – but hey you only live once – no harm being kind to yourself and having a treat every now and again, especially if you live healthy for most of the other time – in fact I feel it’s more of a treat when you don’t have them all the time!

Anyway there are a couple of my new food obsessions to be signing off on! Here’s to February and whatever it decides to bring! Let’s hope the scythe has been put back on the shelf for a while!