Blog time again. The above word has been one I’ve thought off quite a bit the last couple of months. When I last wrote we were bathing in gingery, copper and golden hues of Autumn and the unseasonably warm weather than seemed to keep the hopefulness of summer alive for a bit longer.

Now we are in Winter – still unseasonably warm and there is something disturbing about that – I wish it would get Winter-cold. This should be a season of bare sparkling silveriness.

But despite the balmy and damp December, Stark still popped up. There could be a lot meant by a word. What does Stark mean? Does it mean spindly tree branches, stripped leafless by the early winter storms; blackly clambering fingers against the winter blue sky , which was today tinged by a low milky yellow sun. Does it mean naked, stripped down to the bone? Does it mean the bare reality facing some of the people I work with? Does it mean bleak – the copper landscape turned all to browns and combat green. Does it mean the turmoil of a parent with a child who is ill? Is it friends and family who are suffering from varying degrees of mental health problems? Does it mean the lambasting of kind and sober thinking which is so prevalent in our political system today. Does it mean the act of mass killing because a cult has brainwashed the killers  or the call to war– oh how malleable the human being is! Is a world where all of us are at the mercy of what the powers want us to believe? Is stark the recent floods in the UK, ruined lives of war and , the realisation that we are destroying the Earth and that it is too late for some changes and disappearances ever to be reversed?

Going back to my Germanic modern language roots Stark could also mean strong. Is it then the power in the fast and swollen river Aire today. The peace that I sometimes find in solitude. The love of a parent for a child in need, the love of and for a lover, the love of and for a friend? Bonds between people and the strength I see in nature are more hopeful applications. Could it mean the rounding up of the year, the pinnacle of the darkening and the slow, but inevitable return of light.

I’ve had a good month so far. I’ve spent a lovely holiday in Scotland with a friend who hasn’t been so well this last year, and still has some difficult things on going – I hope this next year will be better for her and the sun coming back will also return some positive changes for her. Crisp snowfall greeted us – this meant I was able to get my cosy snow-boots out! We had a lovely time pottering in lovely places, having restful lunches and some spa time too. I made sure I fed the birds and I saw a red Squirrel!

On my way back I was taken with the idea of adopting a child or getting a sperm donor and thinking of trying to raise a family on my own– only I need to save enough for a house first so they would have somewhere to live – by that time who knows if it will be too late for a sperm donor!?

I’ve had a lovely time with my nephew – we spent a weekend with me seeing what it would be like to have a child – not easy and now I have a better appreciation for the strains on parents and also a new respect for the work my nursing colleagues do! We went on a train and met Father Christmas – I cooked treats and although I was knackered at the end of it, had a great time!

This weekend has been spent with a very special friend for an early big birthday celebration– I have a handful of friends who I love greatly and she is one of them. I count myself very lucky to have her in my life too and I spent a wonderful evening with her last night eating lovely food and taking some nice time for ourselves!

So it’s only two days until the shortest day – whilst writing this it has gone from day to dark very quickly – I can’t believe its 6 months since the Summer Solstice really. I’m going to mark the shortest day by lighting some candles I think (away from any flammables!). Xmas preparations are almost done and I will spend it with my lovely family. I hope you are in a place where you can feel warmth and love at the turn of the Year on 22^nd December even if that is love for yourselves which is the starting point. At a time when there is so much negativity and aggression in the world, let’s hope that the coming year has an equal measure of ‘stark’ the positive and that the former darker elements give way to a lighter time.